Disappointment Comes In Many Forms

Disappointment. A word no one likes to hear, especially from a loved one. That is one of the worst things someone could say to you; saying they are so disappointed in what you have done. As a child, and then a teenager, I never knew how much disappointment could hurt you when you are disappointed in yourself. I’ve always been the one who someone is disappointed at, and never really the other way around. Well, until the other day.

I waited a little bit, to truly know what to say and how to feel about what happened, and I am still so upset and..disappointed. To give a bit of a back story, I was supposed to be in my junior year of college, but sadly I am not. To become a teacher, I have to get into the cohort for education majors. This includes applying and an interview, along with other things. Sadly, I didn’t have everything in place to apply and, in the end, couldn’t enter the cohort, so I have to wait a year. And it isn’t that I’m sad about, it’s what my parents didn’t allow me to do.

In the year that I have to wait to apply to be in the cohort, I wanted to take some sign language courses. I took one during the summer, and wanted to continue learning, so I could become fluent. I was only going to take one course this semester, but once I told my parents, they weren’t so thrilled. They told me I had to withdraw from the school, until next year. I did what they asked, but I cannot stop thinking about how disappointed I am. Don’t get me wrong, I am still trying to learn, and teach myself sign language, but it would have been better with a teacher in the same room as I am.

Sign language is something I really want to learn and be able to do. If I do become fluent in  the next few years, I want to see about becoming a teacher to only deaf students. That is my dream, but with what has happened, I can’t say that I am disappointed in what my parents made me do. But in the long run, it just gave me more of a push. This made me realize how much I want this, and will push me to learn more and more without a real teacher.